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HOPPA AND SHELLY EDITS

PAGE 1

NO EDITS NEEDED

PAGE 2

5- A ROCK MUST BE GREEN
6- A ROCK MUST BE GREEN

PAGE 3

2-LET’S GET YOU PERFECT LITTLE ROCKS HOME!

3-HEY, HOPPA! NEW ROCKS I SEE! ANY PRETTY ROCKS FOR ME?

4-YOU DESERVE DIAMONDS BUNNITA! SO I’LL KEEP THESE DUSTY LITTLE ROCKS!

5-DON’T WORRY, LITTLE ROCKS! HOPPA IS GONNA GIVE YOU A GOOD HOME.

6-WELCOME TO WARRENVILLE. (NO TURTLES ALLOWED)

PAGE 4

2-missing period at end of sentence

3-yawn (not yawns.)

4-“ROCK” -A-BYE.     HA.

PANELS 2-4 NEED TO BE NIGHT TIME BLUE LIKE PAGE 5

PAGE 5

NO CHANGES NEEDED

PAGE 6

1-“I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP!”

2-“WAIT A SECOND!”     missing !

3-“ROCKS DON’T LAUGH..”    misspelled

4-“..OR CRACK..”

5-“..OR LEAVE LITTLE..”

6-“.. SHELLS?”

PAGE 7

1-“HELLO, ROCK AND ROLLER!”    hallo mispelled

6- “AWWWW, YOU APPRECIATE TRUE COMEDIC GENIUS”

PAGE 8

NO CHANGES NEEDED

PAGE 9

4-ADD “TAP TAP” sound effect

5. SHELDON (not SHALDON)


PAGE 10

1. Add “EEE”

6. “WHAT DO TURTLES EAT?!make DO bold

PAGE 11

1. “NOTHIN BUT..”

2. “..SOME BORING LETTUCE.”

3. OOO   (from turtle)

4. “OH WOW! ROMAINE CALM, EVERYONE. WE HAVE A WINNER!”       bold romaine

5. “BUNNITA IS GONNA LOVE YOU!”

PAGE 12

2-“I KNOW YOU HAVE A TURTLE IN THERE!!”

4-PINK BUNNY

5-PINK EARS

6-PINK EARS

PAGE 13

1-“MORNING, MR. MAYOR. WHAT’S UP?”

4-PINK EARS

5-“HMM.” (missing word balloon). PINK EARS

6. “SHE’S GREEN.” (missing period) PINK EARS

PAGE 14

2-PINK EARS

4-PINK EARS

5-PINK EARS

6-“WE’VE GOTTA FIND YOUR MOMMA!” Bold GOTTA

PAGE 15

SHELLY PINK EARS ALL PANELS

1-“SIGH” (missing word balloon from Shelly)

2-“DON’T WORRY, SHELLY. I PROMISE I’LL KEEP YOU SAFE AND FIND YOUR MOMMA.”

PAGE 16

ALL SHELLY’S EARS PINK

3-“MY NIECE. SHELLY!”

6-THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOPPA AND SHELLY WITH HOPPA SAYING THE LINE AND PRETENDING TO BE SURPRISED.
“GASP!! SHELLY, YOU LITTLE LIAR!!”


PAGE 17

1-“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY YOU NEED TO GET HER HOME?”

2-THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOPPA NOT BUNNITA. MOVE ART FROM PANEL 3 TO PANEL 2?

3. THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE BUNNITA SMILING IN THE SAME POSE AS HOPPA HERE.

4. “OK. YOU LOOK LEFT AND WE’LL LOOK RIGHT.

6. “-THERE’S NEVER BEEN TURTLES AT THIS LAKE!”

PAGE 18

1-“I GOTTA GET HER HOME!”

2-THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE BUNNITA. SAME POSE BUT SAD FACE. “BUT THERE’S NO TELLING WHERE HER HOME IS. YOU TWO COULD BE GONE FOREVER!”

4-“I MADE A PROMISE.”

6-THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAYOR NOT BUNNITA

PAGE 19

1-MAYOR NOT BUNNITA
“YOU KNOW THE RULES, HOPPA! NO TURTLES ALLOWED!”

3-MAYOR NOT BUNNITA.
“EVER SINCE THE TORTOISE BEAT THE HARE, TURTLES HAVE BEEN BANNED!”

5-MAYOR NOT BUNNITA. MAYOR HOLDING FACE IN PALM.
“OH NO. PLEASE DON’T SAY-“

6-“THIS IS ABOUT RACE?!”
Race in BOLD. And the panel is supposed to be Hoppa over the top angry.


PAGE 20

FLIP THE ARTWORK FROM PANEL 1 AND 2.

1-“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. LET’S ALL CALM DOWN A MINUTE.”

5-“THAT’S NOT FAIR! SHE’S JUST A BABY!”

6-“I NEVER SAID I WAS A FAIR HARE.”

PAGE 21

2-MAYOR: “HRMPH!” (missing word balloon)

3-“OK, SHELLY. YOU GOT THIS”  (wrong word balloon)

5-“WHEEE!”

6-“OK. HERE WE GO!” all one line across


PAGE 22

1. “HOP-PA!”    (Hoppa is sweaty is just a description not dialogue)

2. remove dialogue

5. “POPPA!”    (missing exclamation point)

6. Add tears to everyone

PAGE 23

1. Move word balloon to top right.

2 “NO. SHE DID IT, HOPPA.” (missing period)

3. THIS PANEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOPPA.
“WITH MY ENCOURAGEMENT. WE’RE A TEAM NOW!

4-“HOPPA AND SHELLY FOREVER!”   (USE ARTWORK FROM PANEL 5)

5-“AND NOW.. IN HONOR OF OUR VICTORY..” (USE ARTWORK FROM PANEL 4)


NEW FINAL PAGE HOPPA, BUNNITA, AND SHELLY all dancing and happy. Hoppa is juggling heads of lettuce.

HOPPA-  “IT’S A SHELL-EBRATION!!”   Bold shell-ebration

SHELLY- “HA!”

BUNNITA-“OK. THAT WAS AN ADORABLE PUN.” (smiling and laughing) bold THAT